saythattomyfacefuckeridareyou: peacelovelesbian: libby-on-the-label: busterposeys: at what point in history do you think americans stopped having british accents Actually, Americans still have the original British accent. We kept it over time and Britain didn’t. What we currently coin as a British accent developed in England during the 19th century among the upper class as a symbol of...
didyougetmytext: the-vashta-nerada: i used to piss off my english teacher by making stupid csi puns every time a character died in hamlet like we got to the part where ophelia died and i borrowed a kid’s sunglasses and i was like “looks like ophelia…was drowning her sorrows” i almost got kicked out every day but it was worth it #looks like laertes….got the point #looks like it’s...
After the Tempest.
So. We all know what happened at the end of The Tempest, right? Prospero destroys his magic, and Miranda gets married to Ferdinand, and the all travel back to Italy. But… what will happen to Miranda?! “MIRANDA: How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! Oh, brave new world that has such people in’t!” (5.1.184-186) Which such naivety, it would be...
King Lear in Five Minutes
DAUGHTERS 1&2 (Goneril and Regan): We’re sadistic and selfish. We love you, father. Give us all your land?
LEAR: OK! Here. You really love me?
GONERIL and REGAN: Syke! We’re gonna take your kingdom from you now. Tata!
LEAR: Nooooooo!!! I lost everything!
CORDELIA: I care about you, father. But I don’t think I can love you with my whole heart…. I will "Obey you, love you, and most honor you.... Haply, when I shall wed, that lord whose hand must take my plight shall carry half my love with him." (1.1.98-102)
CORDELIA: What?! Why?!
LEAR: You don’t love me with all your heart.
CORDELIA: (as guards drag her away) But I was faithful to yooooooouuuuu…..!
LEAR: Fool, come hither.
FOOL: You’re a crazy-ass man. But I love you. "Why, this fellow has banished two on's daughters and did the third a blessing against his will. If thou follow him, thou must needs wear my coxcomb."(1.4.99-102)
LEAR: Ha. You make me laugh. Let’s go seek refuge with my loving daughters.
FOOL: I don’t think you get it.
KENT (disguised as Caius): Hey, king! Can I join you in your quest?!
LEAR: Sure, you’re cool.
FOOL: Hey… aren’t you that one guy the King banished?
(at Goneril's house)
LEAR: Hello, Daughter 1! Can I stay here?
GONERIL: Oh. It’s you. No, go away.
LEAR: "Blasts and fogs upon thee! Th'untended woundings of a father's curse pierce every sense about thee!" (1.4.297-300) And a bunch of other terrible things!
GONERIL: Aww…. Get out.
(at the house of Regan)
REGAN: Ew, it’s you.
REGAN: Get out, you’re gross. Go away. Crazy man….
CORNWALL (Regan's husband): Yeah, get out. Hrr hrr.
GONERIL: Oh, hello! Hi, honey (makes out with CORNWALL)
REGAN: (oblivious) Make our father leave. He’s a disgrace.
LEAR: A POX ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!
FOOL: Wrong play, your majesty.
KENT: The metaphor still stands! (beats a dude up) And awaaaaayyy!!!
LEAR: I’m crazy, my daughters hate me, and my fool left to go somewhere. Flower child time! (puts on some random greenery) Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi! You’re my only hope…. Like butterflies….
CORDELIA: Father, I’ve come to rescue you!
GONERIL and REGAN: Put them to death.
LEAR: Awww…. "Come, let's away to prison. We two alone will sing like birds i'th'cage... and laugh at gilded butterflies...." (5.3.9-14)
REGAN: Haha, this is fun! (drinks stuff) Ew, what the blazes is this?
GONERIL: Poison. I’ma steal your man, now.
REGAN: Damn…. (dies)
GONERIL: Oh! I gotta go get stabbed off-stage. See ya! (goes off to die)
LEAR: Hey! You guys! My REAL daughter, Cordelia, is dead, "And my poor fool is hanged! No, no, no life? Why should a dog, a horse, a rat have life, and thou no breath at all?"(5.3.311-313)…. I… I can’t go on…. (dies)
FOOL: Well. That didn’t end well.
KENT: Yeah. If you had stuck around, maybe Lear would still be alive.
FOOL: Hmm…. Naw, probably not.
KENT: Hey... didn't you get hanged?
FOOL: ... Lear lies all the time. He's crazy, you know....
EDGAR: "The weight of this sad time we must obey;
Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.
The oldest hath borne most; we that are young
Shall never see so much nor live so long." (5.3.329-332)
Portia in da Hood
THE MERCHANT OF VENICE is about to have the flesh on his chest removed by Shylock, a “rich Jew.” However, Portia, dressed as a young doctor, is helping them avoid this fate. When you see <words> that means it’s been translated into Gangsta. (Act 4, scene 1, beginning with line 253) PORTIA: Are there balance here to weigh the flesh? <You got a balance fo’ the meat, dawg?> SHYLOCK: I...
Honest Iago (the sequel to Othello)
-a play concept by Tulia MacDicken- A quick recap of the important passages in Othello, Act 5, scene 2: (beginning with line 244) GRATIANO: The woman falls! Surely he hath killed his wife. EMILIA: Ay, ay… [Iago exits] GRATIANO: He’s gone, but his wife’s killed. (line 246) (line 293) LODOVICO: Where is that viper? Bring the villain forth. [Iago is led forward] OTHELLO:… If thou be’st a devil, I...
My Reaction to Othello’s ending, and a rant
First of all…. …. … WHAT?! And the bad guy LIVES?! This is ridiculous! Preposterous! That fool Othello, to kill his wife because of a stupid rumor! He must not have really loved her. If he had, he wouldn’t have freakin’ KILLED her! I mean, what the hell, man?! This woman was faithful to you to the core! Couldn’t you see Iago’s madness? And then, and then Emilia has to die, too, because...
How it Should Have Ended: Much Ado
“The scene you are about to read is the last scene of Much Ado About Nothing- how it should have ended. In Act V, Scene iv, Hero is revealed and marries Claudio. This fate could have been avoided if Claudio had reacted thusly to Hero’s unveiling: [The ladies enter the Friar’s domain masked. HERO, masked, is given to CLAUDIO.] CLAUDIO (to HERO): “Give me your hand before this holy Friar. I am...
My, oh, My(the first to try)!
My name is Tulia Beth MacDicken and I love Shakespeare! I thought you should know, before I actually get started, in case you find the introductory paragraph berating towards the playwright. I have full, elevated respect for the old man and will try to convey my thoughts on his work in a polite, or at least personal and real, manner. Now, to the prologue: This is the blog I will be using to...