Office by Alex Penny
"This is the blog I will be using to completely destroy and rebuild my views on the Bard as I journey through text after text, play after play, and so on and so forth. Prepare yourself, dear Sir William, for a rebuttle full of crazy sadness, humor, and reflection during the few months I shall be indulging in your fancies. I expect you to shed a tear, Shakespeare."
saythattomyfacefuckeridareyou:
at what point in history do you think americans stopped having british accents
Actually, Americans still have the original British accent. We kept it over time and Britain didn’t. What we currently coin as a British accent developed in England during the 19th century among the upper class as a symbol of status. Historians often claim that Shakespeare sounds better in an American accent.
(via totalrandomcrap)
AVENGE ME HAMLET
FOR I WAS KILLED BY YOUR UNCLE, AND MY BROTHER
(via totalrandomcrap)
i used to piss off my english teacher by making stupid csi puns every time a character died in hamlet
like we got to the part where ophelia died and i borrowed a kid’s sunglasses and i was like “looks like ophelia…was drowning her sorrows”
i almost got kicked out every day but it was worth it
#looks like laertes….got the point #looks like it’s curtains…..for polonius #looks like king hamlet….got an earful
(via totalrandomcrap)
Because you don’t want to sound neolithic when you’re throwing a temper tantrum.
Because everyone should have this on their blog
my teacher passed this out last year during our shakespeare lesson OuO
WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY BLOG?!
(Source: aliceilluminated)
So. We all know what happened at the end of The Tempest, right? Prospero destroys his magic, and Miranda gets married to Ferdinand, and the all travel back to Italy. But… what will happen to Miranda?!
“MIRANDA: How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! Oh, brave new world that has such people in’t!” (5.1.184-186)
Which such naivety, it would be lucky for her to survive more than a week off of the island she was raised on. She will be tormented by bitchy women who find her more beautiful than themselves, and she would get destroyed. Or, she would think that chess means marriage, and therefore would want to marry any attractive male she plays chess with. OR, she could actually be a lesbian. The most likely thing to happen, however, is her inevitable death due to exposure to diseases she has not gained immunity to by being on a secluded island for the majority of her life. Basically, this “brave new world” will be the unpleasant death of her.
“PROSPERO: Dost thou forget from what a torment I did free thee?
ARIEL: No.
…
PROSPERO: Thou liest, malignant thing! … This damned witch Sycorax…. This blue-eyed hag was hither brought with child and here was left by sailors. Thou, my slave… was then her servant…. Refusing her grand hests, she did confine thee… into a cloven pine, within which rift imprisoned thou didst painfully remain a dozen years; within which space she died.” (1.2.251-2960)
In The Tempest, Prospero, a wizard, controls the inhabitants of the island he and his young daughter are shipwrecked on. To keep the airy spirit Ariel in check, Prospero reminds him of this story. I find this whole thing rather fishy, though. After all, we haven’t actually SEEN Prospero do anything more than put his daughter to sleep. He doesn’t seem to have any REAL powers, so why should we believe this story? What’s more, it’s a little suspicious to me that Ariel just HAPPENED to be in a tree twelve years ago, when Prospero landed on the island, and was freed. Ariel doesn’t say what happened to him, he just agrees with Prospero, and Caliban is never even questioned about it. It just seems highly suspicious and manipulative, to me.
Well, it’s time to wrap this all up. I had a wonderful time working with you, Shakespeare, and I hope that what I have put into this blog is more good than bad, in your humble opinion. I’ve traveled through everything from Much Ado about Nothing, to the war story of Henry V to the tragedy of Hamlet, to the romance of The Tempest. I have thoroughly experienced your language and have brought to life your plays through my own interpretive scripts and sketches. I hope I have not dissappointed you. Still, perhaps you did shed a single tear for me, Sir William?
King Lear and the Fool.
“LEAR: Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage, blow! … You sulfurous and thought-executing fires, vaunt-couriers of oak-cleaving thunderbolts, singe my white head!” (3.2.1-6)
“FOOL: Oh, nuncle, court holy water in a dry house is better than this rainwater out o’ door. Good nuncle, in, ask your daughters blessing.” (3.2.10-12)
In Act 3, scene 1, of Twelfth Night, Olivia (left) is talking to Viola (middle) who’s dressed as a man, named “Cesario.” Viola, who’s in love with Orsino (right), is acting as his messenger to woo Olivia. However, Olivia falls in love with “Cesario,” Viola is hooked on the duke (Orsino), and Orsino is enjoying his lamentable love for Olivia.
“OLIVIA Stay. I prithee, tell me what thou think’st of me.
VIOLA That you do think you are not what you are.
OLIVIA If I think so, I think the same of you.
VIOLA Then think you right: I am not what I am.
OLIVIA I would you were as I would have you be!
VIOLA Would it be better, madam, than I am?
I wish it might, for now I am your fool.”
(lines 137-144)
It’s the original love-triangle of hilarity. And what’s more, no one really seems to be who they think they are, and throwing Viola in the mix just makes everyone confused.
